Casting all your cares

1 Peter 5:7 Casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. ESV

I don’t know if you have ever tried throwing a cast net to catch fish or not but growing up in my home I got to accompany my dad on many fishing trips and he loved to throw his net. He was good at it and most times he caught a fair number of fish. I was always too little to carry it back in those days, it was about 8 feet long and heavy. He would put one part over one arm, grab the lead line to another side lean back and let go. He would throw that net many years, until his health no longer allowed him to and then he would take someone to throw it for him while he drove the boat. He was truly a fisherman at heart.

About a year after his death, I found the bucket that held that old net in his barn, just like he left it. I brought it home and put it in storage. It was many months later when I finally got it out. I worked with it for a few days and then I took it out to the water. I walked out into the bay, got part of that net over one arm grabbed the line like he would have dug my toes in the mud and threw as hard as I could. It was nowhere as good as if he had thrown it and I more than likely simply scared all the fish off, but man did it feel good to let that thing go! I pulled the long rope holding that net back to me through the mud and now it was even heavier & harder to get up to throw, but I found something in letting go...

Peace and then tears came because I wondered, is that why he loved it so much, he was willing to have someone else throw it for him when he couldn’t?  Don’t get me wrong, he loved to catch fish but at times there was more to it than that.

I pulled that net back through the water until my shoulder was hurting and I was exhausted, but each time I put that wet, heavy, net over my arm I thought less about catching fish and more about that little verse in 1 Peter 5:7 Casting all your anxieties on him because he cares for you. I thought about all the “things” I have carried over the years, things I was never meant to carry, but was always there. I’m sure I looked crazy trying to get that (far larger than me) net up to throw, but I didn’t care. To cast something means to throw forcefully, I thought of a lot of things out there in that water, but it was mostly a reminder of what Jesus can do in a life.

Because here is the thing, until we let go we can’t be free. The pain, the hurt, the bitterness, the wronged you endured. As long as you hang onto that heavy burden it just gets heavier by the day and we sink deeper in a life that we believe is making us “ strong” but secretly we’re drowning in pain.

 We have a Heavenly Father who can carry the weight of whatever holds us down, who will not ever get tired. The one who paid the ultimate price for our freedom and peace of mind and heart. The one who will never leave and beckons us to rest in him, if we’ll only stop trying to carry something that gets a little heavier each day. Jesus calls out to us, “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” Matt 11:28 Sometimes life is hard, harder than we think we can bear, but there is peace to be found in that little verse. Jesus, while on the cross was placed every sin, every weight, every pain we would ever go through so we could have freedom and rest from whatever holds us down. If you are a believer in Christ all the work has been done for you and you are forgiven, cast it all on Jesus and forgive yourself too, because there is hope ❤️

If you were only here…

I feel as if every time I post something on here its mostly for me, but I hope you find peace in it too.

In John chapter 11, a story is told of suffering, sorrow, grief, and joy. Mary, the one who loved Jesus so much for healing her from evil spirits, was with her brother Lazarus who was very sick. I picture Mary knowing in her heart what Jesus had done for her in the past, “surely, he will save my brother if I can just get him word.” Mary loved Jesus so much that she had at one time anointed the Lord with ointment and wiped his feet with her hair, but Jesus did not come, she waited and waited but Lazarus died. Do you think she was broken hearted when she found out Jesus knew and still left town? Do you think in her storm of life she questioned his love for her? They were friends, but he didn’t come. I wasn’t there, but I can easily say I don’t think I would have understood at all, to say in the least.

Mary and Martha had no doubt Jesus could heal Lazarus. They had witnessed firsthand his power. They loved Jesus with all they had, but their brother was so sick, and the master is nowhere to be found. I have felt like that before. I can be open enough to say, “Lord, why? Why, does my loved one suffer? Why, does it hurt so bad? How will this ever change?” When doubt comes in your life you can run to the goodness of God or allow it to grow until there is no peace in life to be found. 

When Jesus comes back to the town of Bethany, he is greeted by a grieving Martha who said, “Lord, if you had only been here… but I still believe.” Mary had remained in her house, grief stricken over what she thought was lost. Martha went back to get her and said to Mary, “come with me the Lord is here and is asking for you.” A suffering and broken Mary ran to Jesus and fell on his feet. “Lord, if you had only been here my brother would not have died.”

Where is your “here?”

The place like Mary, you believed you were, and the Lord was not. The place where you believed there was no hope. Where in your suffering, you lost hope? I have some places of “here” in my life. Places I am not proud of, where I felt like David in Psalm 22: 14 “I am poured out like water.”  I have felt hopeless...I just couldn’t understand how anything good could possibly come from my pain. This is where without the truth the battle of unbelief can be won or lost. The truth is since Genesis chapter 3 we have lived in a fallen and broken world where pain and suffering are real, where things happen that we just don’t understand, where it feels like the earth itself is falling out from under us. But there are some things for sure that we can stand on that are solid. You are not alone, never lost, never forgotten and your pain and suffering are not in vain. Every step you’ve taken the Father has walked with you, every tear that ran down your face that no one seen, God saw. As a child of God, the truth is, he is working all things for our sanctification and his glory.  I once heard it told, God is doing about 10,000 things in our lives and we are possibly aware of about three.

Over and over in John chapter 11, Jesus says, “this is to bring glory to God.”  Mary was unaware of what was about to come from her suffering and hopelessness. Mary did not know that her grief and pain would be the pivotal truth in our lives today. That even in our sorrow and grief God is working his perfect will. Mary did not know that Jesus knew exactly where she and her brother were. Not one second did he forget Lazarus. The purpose was to bring glory to the Father and that they would believe that Jesus IS the resurrection and life. So then he stood at the tomb and cried out with a loud voice, “Lazarus, come out.” The man who had died came out…And Jesus said “Unbind him, and let him go.”

When we are discouraged, broken hearted from pain and suffering, and feel that we are all alone in our “here” take heart in knowing that even in the middle of whatever mess life has thrown at your way, Jesus is there with us and THERE IS HOPE...

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4

For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us. Romans 8:18

And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, and establish you. 1 Peter 5:10

Casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7

And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28

Leaving regret behind

There is a special kind of pain that comes with, I wish I had only____. Only what ? Not do something? Or was it a missed moment that can’t be regained ? Regret is a nagging pain that can cripple the person that lives in it. Many studies have shown it’s the most negative emotion that a person can have. Yesterday on Jan. 4 my dad would have turned 72, on that Friday in 2019 it was a busy day I got home and was tired and didn’t call him to say happy birthday, little did I know it would be his last. I truly suffered with this. I know that he was not mad or hold that against me, but the pain of regret gnawed at me a very long time. If I could only say I love you & happy birthday one more time. As small as that may seem it was very large to me, it was a burden I wore everyday. I can hardly imagine the pain that some may feel. Moments you would do anything to just have one more chance, to either make it right or take it back. Do you suffer this pain? I’m sure to some degree we all do.

I believe it is one of the strongest weapons the enemy owns to make sure we live in defeat and take all the joy from our lives and can lead to self destruction. Look at the life of Judas, and the life of Peter, both betrayed the Lord but only one it was his demise. Both committed the largest of sins, Judas sold Jesus out for just a few pieces of silver (Matt 26:15) that today would be less than 20$. When Jesus needed Peter the most he said, I don’t know you ( Matt 26: 72). No matter the regret we live with I imagine it would be difficult to be larger than denying Jesus or selling him out ! But that’s the thing, pain is pain and unless we are released from it, it’s hard to find peace in life. The difference between the two men are that one’s regret drove him to destruction( Matt 27:5) and the other it drove him to his knees to seek Christ and forgiveness. (Matt 26: 75) All Judas could think was look what I have done until it destroyed him. Peter said look what I have done and wept bitterly, he was in pain but he was restored !

We can be restored and freed from the pain of regret. If you read through the New Testament in the book of Acts and look at the life of Paul, his testimony is like no other. If anyone could have struggled with regret this man would have, but he was able to say this

 Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. Philippians 3:13-14 ESV

We have to trust Jesus and press forward. The pain of decisions that can’t be changed is real and as much as it can burden us down, we have to know that if we trust in Him we can be freed from If only…We have to rest in this. And we know that for those who love God ALL THINGS work together for good.. Romans 8:28 ESV All things? Even my bad decisions ? I believe so, all things are working to bring us closer to Christ and Glory to His name. The past indeed leaves us with scars, but scars are a testament that we survived and not to just live but to be able to reach out to someone else who can’t seem to see past the horrible burden of regret.

Forgiving does not erase the bitter past. A healed memory is not a deleted memory. Instead, forgiving what we cannot forget creates a new way to remember. We change the memory of our past into a hope for our future. ~ Lewis Smedes

January 2, 2020

Last night before bed I was reading one of my favorite stories in the Bible, and this story always brings me peace.

In Genesis 37-50 we read of the life of Joseph, a young man who knew what trials and hardship really were. He was thrown in a hole by his own brothers, sold into slavery, falsely accused of a crime, and then thrown into a prison and ultimately forgotten. How could he still have hope? It amazes me when reading this wonderful story how he didn’t become a bitter and mean person. We see him from being thrown into a pit, all the way to being second in command over all of Egypt. It is such a beautiful story and in the middle of the storms of life, I am given such hope because of one sentence…

Genesis 50:20 You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.

At this point of the story Joseph is speaking to his brothers who had caused him so much pain. Joseph had revealed who he was to them and reminded them of God’s goodness not only for his life, but so many people he was given charge of during the famine. Joseph had the opportunity to take his revenge on his brothers. With such a famine in the land he could have easily said no, I won’t give you food to take to your people, but Joseph was able to see that all of his hardships had come full circle and he knew that God had made a way. God allowed the pit, being sold, thrown in prison, and was with him every step of the way. Without all the things he had been through, there would be no provision for them.

I look back at my own life, the things that I’ve walked through and its been the hand of God through ever failure, every sin, and every victory. Through these moments in my life God has cleared a path and allowed me to live. There are things in my past that have hurt and cut me to the bone. Times when I absolutely was sure that God couldn’t or wouldn’t hear me. Today I look around and see what he’s done for me. I am by no means where I should be, but like Joseph every single heartache, failure and victory has been God’s amazing grace leading me to where I need to be. So I pray for the ones who can’t seem to see a way out of the “pit” of life. I pray that they will see Your hand in all their struggles, and as they seek You, I ask that You clear a path.❤️

New Year, New Ideas

The year of 2019 has been the most difficult year of my life, as of yet any way. The Lord has walked with me through many things this year. The death of my earthly hero, my dad. The man who loved me most on this earth. He taught me how to pray, taught me the word & loved me at my worst. In this life he was a beautiful example of Jesus to me, even in his flaws. I’ve told people that in 2019 there were only 6 good days ( I’m aware that’s false, but man) the first 5 were before my dad died on Jan. 6 & the other was the day my first grandchild was born May 21st. Yes, I suppose that may seem like an exaggeration but the lessons that have been taught to me are life changing. Days I felt as if I were drowning, days I went to bed praying I just wouldn’t wake up (truth) & days that were absolutely beautiful. I have decided that the best thing I could do would be to share some of my lessons, good and bad in hopes of giving someone else hope. Things are in the planning phase right now, this website, a podcast and other new ideas all just to show people you ARE NOT ALONE & Jesus is ENOUGH! My prayer is that you are touched and given hope, peace and the ability to share your story too.